MY DEAR FRIEND TAMI, THERE'S NOTHING I CAN SAY OR DO TO MAKE
THIS DAY ANY EASIER. JUST KNOW THAT I'M HERE FOR YOU AND I
FEEL YOUR SADNESS AND PAIN. I TOO WILL BE GOING THROUGH IT
ON THE 11TH. I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT BUT I CAN'T STOP IT.
TODAY IS A DAY TO CELEBRATE JOEY'S LIFE. A LIFE THAT WAS SO
FULL OF LOVE AND HAPPINESS FROM YOU, HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
I KNOW THAT JOEY HAS A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART AND IT'S
BECAUSE OF YOU DEAR FRIEND. SHARING YOUR SON WITH ALL
US OTHER MOMS HAS GIVEN US JOY AND A SMILE ON OUR FACES.
TODAY I WILL CELEBRATE WITH YOU IN MY HEART, THE LIFE OF YOUR
PRECIOUS SON. WITH LOVE ALWAYS.
Dear Andy,
My heart is breaking for you, as I know what you are going through. My daughter has just had her 5th Angel Date and I can still feel the pain, anger, hurt, and fear as if it was yesterday! They say when you have a baby you'll never forget the pain...I have forgotten the pain. I remember there being pain and at the moment saying never again...but once it was over, it was over. I had more babies and actually I had Angie 10 months after her brother was born. Believe me I had a hard delivery for my first son, but it didn't stop me...BUT the pain of Angie's passing has never left me. I remember being told, I remember seeing her lying on a hospital bed with blood in her hair and eyebrows, and she had just spent the day at the electrolgist and hairdressers. I remember them wanting me to sign forms, I remember driving by the scene of the accident and police and ppl where everywhere, I remember them giving us pills to calm us, I remember telling her grandparents, her Aunts, her brothers, her son...I REMEMBER IT ALL, and like you I still want to scream and sometimes and I do.
At this time, it's understandable that you think you won't make it, you don't want to make it. My Goodness you loss your son. There is no greater pain than the loss of a child. I never in my life thought I would ever lose a child. I was one of those people who thought this wouldn't happen to us, we taught the children well, and they were pretty attentive in life.
The shock is so hard, my daughter also died in a car accident and she died on impact. The car left the road, for some unknown reason (police say probably to dart an animal) she took the ditch, hit the culvert, which flipped her car in the air, she nose dived into the driveway, sprung back up hit two trees, flew over high hedges, rolled the car, and it landed on four wheels. They were surprised that it didn't catch fire as there was some leaking of gas. She died on impact and at first I didn't want to accept it. I was willing to help her walk again, talk again, whatever it would take. She had three serious head tramas, her ribs were pushed through the front of her chest, From her neck to the bottom of her stomach she was crushed. Today, (this may sound mean) I'm glad she died on impact. My daughter loved life and her son to much to be confined to a bed and someone feeding, dressing, washing her etc. That would have been the saddest thing for her son to live with, and way to hard for me to watch my daughter in that state. Angie loved amusement rides, speed, and anything fast...bungee jumping etc. Apparently, the police said speed wasn't a factor in the accident. Like your son, whom also seem to like speed...they both went the way that would have probably put a smile on their face.
What 18 year old on a motorcycle and a highway, wouldn't want to be free and just cruise like there isn't a worry in the world. I'm sure your son was having a great time before his accident. Everything must have happened so fast he didn't realize or feel anything. For that we both have to be happy.
I don't know why I'm blabbing on and on, I think it's because I can read the pain your in and I just want you to know your not alone. Majority of all the Angel Families are there for you, me and who ever else needs them. Until a person has lost a child, they'll never understand what we go through. Don't go through this tragic time by yourself. Reach out to others and you'll find you get so much support and THE IMPORTANT THING you'll realize is it's okay to cry, it's okay to scream, it's okay to say WHY? WHY? Why? Your a Mom who has won the honors to grieve anyway you want and whatever it takes to make you able to eat, breath and sleep.
God blessed you with Joey for a reason, even though it was for a short while, but he promises us enternity with our loved ones and I hold onto that hope. Remember, your still a Mom to your other children and they have to see a Mom laughing sometimes. Sharing treasured memories of your son with them, will eventually, bring many tears of laughter to your eyes, as you reminse about all the fun and crazy times you shared as a family.
This letter is no way a letter to tell you, your strong, you have to move on, you have to get over it, because none of that is ever going to happen. Live each moment as it comes. One day sweetie you'll be able to write some Mom a letter trying to explain to her that you understand. I hope it will make her day, as I hope I have brought just a little bit of peace to you on Joey's 19th birthday and your special day that you gave birth to your baby...Continue to celebrate this date, because it will always be the date that your precious son was blessed to you, his dad and siblings...and of course THE WORLD.
Keep in touch
An Angel Friend forever
Donna Robert xo
http://angie-robert.memories-of.com
http://angie-robert.last-memories.com
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Birthdays In Heaven
Birthdays in heaven are a wonderful site
Where generations of family once again unite.
Nothing on earth can ever compare
to the sounds of the angels singing "Happy Birthday My Dear!"
We gather together with our family and friends
And circle the world with love once again.
We know that you miss us and we want you to know
that birthdays up here are not much different than below.
For we have cake with candles and one wish we always make
That your heart will know love and will never again ache.
So tonight go outside and count the stars in the sky
for as I blow out my candles they will flicker up high.
And as this is happening you'll know deep in your heart
That Heaven and Earth aren't really that far apart!
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Joey.... I just want to scream your name so you will come home! Everything reminds me of you! I just want you to know that I love you so much and my heart is breaking more and more each day. I just cant believe that you are not here with me, Us, not reachable to touch, talk to, Listen to, bitch at, (at least thats what you said!) WHY? WHY? WHY? I will be asking that until my dying breath....I want to run away and keep running until I find you!!!!!!!!!!!
I love you Son.
I sit here at night and all I do is think of him... Wishing that I could just shut my eyes and open them and he would be here with me... I feel like I want to run away... I am so tired of hearing how strong I am, I am not strong!!! I just cant let my feelings out to people, they would put me away in the looney bin if I did! Joey, WHY.... I just cant believe this is happening.... It is getting to where I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.... I love him so much and this emptiness is so unbearable. When I say my heart is breaking, I really mean it, I can feel it, peice by peice, I felt like it was going to stop beating the other night and I waited.... I just wanted it to... I gave my heart to both of my children, how do I go on with only half a heart?
I love you so much Joseph Anthony Scalise..... Your 19th Birthday is on Monday Nov. 2, How do I celebrate one of the Happiest days of my life now that you are gone. I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!!! PULL MY HAIR OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SLAP MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!!!!!!!
